


I am Not the Ghost You Are to Me

by thereforebucket



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Mombies!AU, Zombie Apocalypse, technically Nozoeli but also not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5220878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereforebucket/pseuds/thereforebucket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eli looked back and made eye contact with Kotori, making sure she heard it too. Next, she looked down at Maki. Her daughter was clutching the canteen in her left hand. Her right was twirling her hair in a nervous gesture. She looked around, wide-eyed and concerned.</p><p>“Mama?” she asked quietly.</p><p>“I know, Maki I know,” Eli replied. “We just have to be quick and quiet, ok? Quick and quiet.”</p><p>Maki nodded, twirling her hair faster, and Eli began to set a faster pace.<br/>-----<br/>Nozoeli Zombie Apocalypse AU (Mombies)</p><p>Set 3 years after the zombies over ran the city. Eli and her daughter Maki lost Nozomi three years ago while fleeing the city and now live in the mountains with Honoka, Kotori, and Umi, their friends from before the zombie apocalypse. Eli decides to take Maki on a supply run to bring back water when things start to go wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Not the Ghost You Are to Me

_Crack!_  
  
Eli’s head whipped around, looking for the source of the noise. She made eye contact with Kotori, who sent her a sympathetic smile.  
  
“Relax, Eli,” she said, “Maki only stepped on a twig.”  
  
Eli swung her head around to look at her daughter, whose big purple eyes were watching her intently. “Oh…” she trailed off. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair, again questioning her decision to bring Maki on this supply run. She was only four, she wouldn’t be able to lift anything too heavy, and though she was sturdy on her feet, she still fell down a fair amount. But, she reasoned with herself, it was only a short hike to get water and Maki needed to learn the basics of survival out here. Not showing her where the spring was could be a matter of life and death someday. So she gave her daughter a small, but reassuring smile and soldiered on.

The trio walked silently in single file, Eli in the front, Kotori in the back, and Maki in the middle. The hike to the spring would take a good half hour, accounting for Maki’s little legs, and they were about halfway there with good light. They had planned this run for the lightest part of the day, when it was easiest to identify threats in the trees.

  
They made it to the spring in good time, Eli looking back every few minutes to check on Maki. Eli and Kotori filled up the larger containers, strapping them to their backs, and gave Maki a small canteen to sling around her neck. Altogether, this water would last them a day or two, and supplementary rain barrel water would add to that.  
  
Though Eli’s shoulders had grown stronger over the past three years, they still protested under the weight of the heavy container. She looked back and saw that Kotori seemed to feel the same, but Maki looked pleased to help. She had a satisfied air about her and a determined look in her eye. Eli smiled at that, and the container seemed more manageable. With a nod and an “Alright, let’s go,” she led the trio back down the path towards home.  
  
For the first leg of the journey, everything went according to plan. Eli helped Maki over a fallen log and Kotori pointed out some flowers off the path that made her daughter smile.  
  
And then came the shuffling.  
  
It always started out the same way. First, a branch would snap in the distance, then another. Next came the slithering of a misshapen foot sliding over dry leaves. Each noise was louder and closer than the last, but the loudest noise of all was the  _groaning._   _That’s the worst part_ , thought Eli,  _the groaning of the undead._  
  
She heard shuffling in the distance and knew there were zombies nearby.  
  
Eli looked back and made eye contact with Kotori, making sure she heard it too. Next, she looked down at Maki. Her daughter was clutching the canteen in her left hand. Her right was twirling her hair in a nervous gesture. She looked around, wide-eyed and concerned.  
  
“Mama?” she asked quietly.  
  
“I know, Maki I know,” Eli replied. “We just have to be quick and quiet, ok? Quick and quiet.”  
  
Maki nodded, twirling her hair faster, and Eli began to set a faster pace.  
  
As the shuffling and groaning drew closer, coming in from their left, Maki let out a frightened noise and ran forward, pulling Eli’s arm down so she could hold her hand. Eli felt the tiny fingers tighten on hers and winced.  
  
“Not so tight, Maki,” she said quietly, “and if Mama needs to fight I want you to let go and get to safety, ok?” Maki loosened her grip a fraction, and nodded. She twirled her hair faster, almost tugging at it, and Eli hoped she wouldn’t have to let go of her hand.  
  
But hope hadn’t become reality for Eli for over three years now.  
  
She heard the shuffling pick up and glanced back at Kotori, who was looking towards the noise, spear at the ready.  
  
“Maki,” she glanced down, “let go of my hand and hold my shirt.” Maki did, with a little squeak of fear, and Eli reached over to the hilt hanging on her left side and drew her sword.  
  
And not a moment too soon.  
  
The zombies shuffled into view about fifty feet off, three of them, and Maki screamed. Three heads, already aimed in their general direction, turned to look directly at them. Eli cursed under her breath as the zombies broke out into a shuffling run. She knew they were faster than they looked.  
  
“Maki!” she yelled, shifting into a defensive stance. “Get behind me!” With a whimper, Maki’s hand let go of Eli’s shirt and the little girl stumbled back a few steps. Kotori moved so she was standing next to Eli, and Eli struck, her sword hitting the zombie in the middle at full force and slicing off its outstretched arm.  
  
Kotori met the other zombie, thrusting her spear into its gut, or where it would have been if it hadn’t already fallen out. The move pushed it back and it stumbled as she freed her spear and aimed for its head.  
  
Eli kept her eyes on the two zombies in front of her. The one she had engaged earlier lunged forward and she sliced its other hand off, jumping to the left and bringing her sword back around to her right, slicing off its head with a _snick!_  Eli stabbed the head to make sure it was dead–well, more than it was before–and then she heard the scream.  
  
She had forgotten about the third zombie.  
  
Eli’s heart dropped as she turned and saw the third zombie moving towards Maki. She pulled her sword out of the head of the one she had decapitated with a blind yell of panic and charged forward. Beside her, Kotori threw her spear, pushing the zombie back and Eli thrust her sword upwards through its neck, stabbing its brain. She pulled her sword out and hacked at it as it fell. She had to be sure that the creature was dead, that it had no way to hurt Maki.  
  
When she was positive it was well and truly dead, Eli turned around to find Maki holding her arms over her face, sobbing uncontrollably. She had streaks of gore splattered across her and Eli felt fear rise in her chest.  
  
“Maki,” she said, trying to keep calm, “show me your arms.” Maki didn’t move. The fear in Eli’s chest grew and she dropped her sword and moved forward to kneel in front of her. “Maki, show me your arms!” There was fear in her voice and Maki let out a squeal of terror, holding them closer to her. “Maki! Your arms! Show me your arms! Now, Maki! Show me them now!” She was shouting, yelling at her in a blind panic, and Maki was crying harder and backing away. Had she been bitten? Was she going to turn into one of those monsters? Was Eli going to lose her daughter? The last member of her family? “Maki–”  
  
“Eli!” Kotori’s voice cut through the fear like a knife. “You’re scaring her!”  
  
It was true, Eli realized, the panic falling away in a single breath. She looked at her daughter, crying harder than she had seen her cry in a long time, and a wave of guilt crashed over her. She had made a bad situation worse for her  _four year old daughter._ Eli was an adult, what was she thinking, bringing a four year old out into zombie-infested woods?  
  
_Take a deep breath,_ she heard a voice say in her head,  _be gentle._  
  
_Nozomi_. Nozomi would know what to do. She wouldn’t lose control and scare their daughter. Nozomi would be calm and would know what to say.  _But Nozomi’s not here,_  she reminded herself.  _You have to be that parent now._  
  
Eli took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She exhaled and opened them to look at Maki.  
  
“Maki, baby, show Mama your arms. I just want to see if you’re ok.” Still crying, Maki slowly lowered her arms from her face and walked forwards, holding them out for inspection. Eli took a cloth out of her pocket and wiped the gore off them, looking carefully for bite marks. There wasn’t a scratch on them. Maki was fine. Eli let out a shuddering sigh of relief and opened her arms. Maki ran into them and the two embraced for a long time, Kotori keeping watch for more threats in the area.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Eli murmured into Maki’s hair. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I brought you out here. I’m so, so sorry.” Maki just squeezed tighter, her crying gradually turning to sniffles.  
  
After a minute, Eli stood up, taking Maki with her and setting her on her hip. “Kotori,” she said, surprised to hear how tired her voice sounded, “can you grab my sword? I’ll take it if we need to fight again, but I’m going to carry Maki the rest of the way.”  
  
“Of course,” said Kotori, walking over to where the sword lay and picking it up. Once she did so, Eli turned around and started walking, ignoring the bodies of the undead littering the ground. They walked in silence, aside from Maki’s sniffles and Eli’s occasional murmurs of comfort, and were back at the bunker in a quarter of an hour.  
  
Kotori leaned down to knock on the door half hidden in the ground and a moment later it was opened by Umi. “Good, you’re back,” she said. Kotori gave her a weak smile and hummed in affirmation, but Umi frowned when she saw the gore splattered on them and frowned deeper when she saw the looks on Eli and Maki’s faces. “Is everyone alright?” She asked, and Eli and Kotori nodded. “What happened?”  
  
“Kotori, take Maki inside and get her in clean clothes, I’ll clean the weapons and be down in a minute,” Eli said. Kotori nodded, setting her spear and Eli’s sword on the ground and reaching out to take Maki from her. Eli kissed her daughter’s head and handed her over, giving Umi a look that asked her to stay put. As Kotori and Maki disappeared down the hatch, Eli set the container of water on the ground.  
  
“So what happened?” Umi asked again, concern tracing her features.  
  
“Zombies,” Eli said, sitting down, “three of them. They weren’t too hard to beat, but one of them went after Maki. She wasn’t hurt, but she was scared out of her wits, and I didn’t help. I started yelling at her to show me her arms, because she was holding them close and I thought she had been bitten, and I ended up yelling and scaring her even more. I put a four year old in this situation, Umi, a  _four year old._ ” She took a shuddering breath. “I’m a terrible mother.” She felt another wave of guilt come over her and picked up her sword, cleaning it, to do something with her hands.  
  
“You’re not a terrible mother,” Umi said, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “You wanted to show her where to find water, right? And you did. And she came back untouched, right? That was you. You protected your daughter in a dangerous situation.”  
  
“It was me and Kotori,” Eli said, “Kotori got it before I did.”  
  
“That doesn’t make you a bad parent, though,” Umi reasoned. “Eli, you’ve kept Maki safe out here for three years! We’ve met people passing through who weren’t as lucky or adept as that.”  
  
Eli nodded, half-ashamed to find tears stinging her eyes. “I know,” she said. “It’s just… _she_  wouldn’t have gone into a blind panic.  _She_  wouldn’t have scared our daughter like that. What if Maki doesn’t trust me like she used to after this? What if she’s always scared I’m going to be that…that scary again?” She looked down at the ground and wiped at her eyes on a clean bit of sleeve.  
  
Umi sat down in front of her. “Eli,” she said, her tone stern, “look at me.” Eli looked up to find Umi giving her a level, even look. “Maki loves you, and if her letting you carry her for so long was any indication, she still trusts you just the same. As far as Nozomi,” Eli shut her eyes, fresh tears springing into her eyes at the mention of her name, “we don’t know what she would have done. Maybe she would have been better at handling situations like this, maybe not, but she would have been just as scared as you and you know that. You’re holding her to a higher standard in your memory.” Eli sighed, looking at the ground once more. “Eli,” Umi said, “trust me. You’re a great mother, better than most I’ve seen. You’re raising your daughter in this terrible world and you’re doing a damn good job of it. But, the fact that it’s a terrible world means you can’t prevent every bad thing from happening, just react to each one as it comes your way. And you’re doing fine.”  
  
Eli swallowed, wiping the last spots of gore off her sword and reaching for Kotori’s spear. “I guess you’re right,” she said, and she really did believe it, on some level. But there was still a part of her that felt guilty for putting Maki through that. “Thanks, Umi,” she said.  
  
"No need to thank me,” Umi stood up. “Just finish cleaning that spear and I’ll take the water. Then we can go inside.”  
  
Eli nodded, wiping the last speck off of Kotori’s spear. She gathered the weapons and stood up, walking to the mouth of the bunker and climbing down into the warmly-lit depths. Umi followed her, the water strapped to her back, and shut the hatch behind them. After she set the weapons on the rack by the entrance, Eli looked around and found Kotori and Honoka playing with a weary Maki, singing and making her smile after the traumatic day. Kotori got up as Umi put away the water and went to give her a hug, and Eli walked over to Honoka and Maki, sitting on the couch beside them. Maki climbed up next to her and climbed into her lap, curling up against her chest and promptly falling asleep.  
  
“Awww,” said Honoka fondly, “she’s all tuckered out.” She brushed back a piece of hair that had fallen in Maki’s face, a soft smile on her lips, before her face fell into a more serious expression. “Kotori told me what happened,” she said. “I’m glad you’re alright.”  
  
Eli looked over to where Kotori and Umi are still embracing, then down at Maki, one hand in her own hair, the other fisting Eli’s somewhat grimy t-shirt. She realized Umi was right, she was doing the best she could, and was doing a pretty good job of it. “Yeah,” she said softly. She reached up a hand to stroke Maki’s hair, the corners of her mouth lifting. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this fic :) Mombies has been with me for a while, so I'm glad I can finally share it.
> 
> Mombies!AU developed by me and my sister (sleep-spirograph.tumblr.com)! If you want to read more about the au, the tag is thereforebucket.tumblr.com/tagged/mombies Feel free to ask me anything you like about it and I will answer it as best I can!


End file.
